PACT’s goal is to assist parents in decreasing any conflict amongst them and guide the parents to turn the focus off of their personal turmoil and to focus on the children and their needs.  The class is hosted in a group setting and moderator introduces several scenarios that people face during a custody battle, and everyone has the opportunity to work through each scenario, ask their own questions and get feedback on each situation.

Because of the emotions involved in custody battles, it is extremely helpful if everyone involved can go together and work through some of the conflicts. Just today I had one of my clients say, “You know I was complaining to Sabrina about going to the PACT class….but I actually learned something today.”

So although I haven’t been to the class myself, I have heard great things about PACT!

In a sport where women were once thought too frail to run the full court, a new generation of athlete moms is proving more than ever just how tough women ballers can be. Role models for women everywhere who strive to “have it all,” these players work out right up to the brink of delivery, quickly bounce back to All-Star form, and adeptly juggle careers, travel and motherhood.

And nowhere is motherhood on the hardwood more endemic than in Los Angeles. If Sparks co-owners Kathy Goodman and Carla Christofferson want to earn some extra money at games this summer, they could always open a childcare business at Staples Center. After all, there would already be six kids to play with.

The team that included two mothers last season in center Lisa Leslie and guard Marie Ferdinand-Harris will see those ranks grow substantially this year. Earlier this spring, the Sparks signed forward Tina Thompson and center Vanessa Hayden – both mothers. Forward Candace Parker is due to deliver her baby –a girl — any day now, and Christofferson is due mid-July. This will make the Sparks the most parental team in the WNBA.

“I couldn’t think of a team with more mothers,” Christofferson said.

Leslie brought daughter Lauren, who turns 2 next month, and Ferdinand-Harris took son Cedric Jr., 3 in June, on road trips last season. So the team is used to having children around.

But not this many.

“We haven’t seen what the influence will be (of having so many kids around), because the players are still arriving for training camp,” Christofferson said. “The next couple weeks will be our first time dealing with it, and it will be an interesting and exciting time.”

What it will likely mean is that there will be lots of children at practices and on road trips. Christofferson, an attorney, said it puts her and her players on par with mothers everywhere.

“The fact is that we’re struggling with the same thing as women in all professions,” she said. “In some ways it’s easier because we have more flexibility in our schedules, but in other ways it’s harder because we have to travel.”

Leslie agreed.

“It’s a balancing act – to get my workouts in, to put meals on the table, to get Lauren to her doctor’s appointments,” she said.

Leslie, a three-time WNBA MVP, four-time Olympic gold medalist, perennial All-Star and arguably the finest female basketball player ever to take to the floor, took the 2007 season off after giving birth to her daughter Lauren Jolie Lockwood in June of that year.

For more see:

http://fullcourt.scout.com/2/863886.html

As bad as the marriage may have seemed to one or both of the parents, it is the only family the kids have known. Whatever you thought was wrong was part of ‘normal life’ to them and what may seem like a solution to you is actually a very big problem for them.

Regardless of whether the divorce was your idea or not, YOU are now responsible for helping the kids resolve the problem they now have. The solution is communication.

Naturally, since you are the grown-up, you’ll have to help the kids begin to understand what is going on regardless of how well you have it sorted out for yourself yet. So, think it through from their point of view and decide, before you are put on the spot, how you are going to describe the divorce.

Many children feel as though they have somehow caused their parents’ divorce. Studies have shown that young children sometimes believe that mommy or daddy left because the child behaved badly. Many kids think that the divorce was their fault and if they could find a way to be a better child, then daddy would come back home.

Your challenge is to be open and honest with children, though discretion should be used. A child does not need to know every detail of the breakup. Keep it on a simple level. How you handle yourself and how you act toward your ex is all being soaked up by the kids and they WILL learn from how you deal with this nasty bit of life.

A cruel fact of divorce is that just when the kids need MORE time with the parents, they are likely to be around less. One parent is now gone most of the time and the other is now facing a time crunch.

The solution is to take whatever time you do have with the kids and actually spend it with them. There are no pat answers to the questions ‘how much time is enough?’ or ‘how do I talk about the divorce?’ You have to be true to your own feelings, but at the same time realize that it is going to take awhile for the kids to understand. Take it in little steps.

Here are two facts that are true for every child and you can write in big neon letters in the sky. More communication and more time spent with them is always better than less. And kids will assume that they are responsible for the divorce to some degree and it’s up to you to prove otherwise.

Custody and visitation is always a touchy subject and is viewed very differently by every couple.  As we previously discussed, it’s always best to attempt to discuss the visitation parameters with your ex spouse or significant other before involving the judicial system.  It’s always better to decide between yourselves what is best for your children rather than letting the judge tell you what you will do with your children!!

In any event if you cannot work out your differences the court will consider the following when deciding how to award custody and visitation to each parent:

1)  What has each parent historically done in terms of custody and visitation? Are they currently living in the same house?  How often does each parent spend with each child?  Who is taking the children to school, etc?

2)  Is one parent preventing the other from spending time with the children?

3)  How far do they live from one another?

4)  What is the work schedule of each parent?

5)  What schedule would allow the children to sustain structure?

So generally if the parties live 40 miles apart, work contrasting schedules and it just wouldn’t suit the children to have a 50/50 timeshare the courts will not order it just to appease one parent. On the other hand, if the parents live 10-15 min away from each other, get along well and can get the children to school and respective activities then 50/50 might not be a bad idea.

So as you see each case is different and if you want 50/50 be ready to explain to the Judge how it is in your children’s best interests!

Good Luck!

Before an attorney can file any documents pertaining to child custody and visitation, they have to show that there is an agreed upon mediation date that is PRIOR to the hearing date.

What generally happens is both parties (absent counsel, attorneys are not allowed in custody and visitation mediation) and a mediator (generally a social worker appointed by the Superior Court) meet and try to resolve the issue. The mediator will ask each party what they feel is an appropriate change in custody or visitation schedule. If the parties can cooperate with one other they can settle it right there and then.

If cooperation is not looking good the mediator may suggest a suitable arrangement based on hearing both sides and on the ages of the kids.  The parties may agree to the suggested schedule or discuss alternatives. Hopefully everyone can come to an agreement.

If they do come to an agreement, they all sign off on a ‘mediation agreement’ which they each may show to their attorney. Should either of the parties change their mind, they have ten days to object to the mediation agreement.

If there is no resolution as a result of the mediation session or if one of the parties later objects to the agreement, then the matter will proceed to a hearing.

In any case the mediator will produce a report that details what was done at the meeting and the results. It’s important to note that this report is submitted to the Judicial Officer with a recommendation in Orange County but NOT in Los Angeles County.

I always encourage my clients to resolve as much as possible in mediation and only reserve disputed custody and visitation issues for a hearing in front of the judge.  Some judges have 20 to 30 matters to hear EVERY DAY!! Therefore the more that can be done and settled in mediation the better and faster things will go in court!